i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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