is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I want a musical about memes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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