we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
