remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
