Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
