omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
