I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
