I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
