I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
