I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
