I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
