it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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