do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
