Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
