There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
