how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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