I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
