she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
