babies were throwing up all over the place
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
