You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
