I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
