You work out of a Hotel?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
