i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
