A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
