A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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