Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
