Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
