I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
