Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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