found the other keg... it's in the tree
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
