This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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