My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You ate ashes out of my bong
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
