i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
