Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
