glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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