i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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