I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So apparently I’m into choking now
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