I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
