Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
