I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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