New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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