Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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