dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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