why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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