do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
