White coat. Heels.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
