Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
