I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
