the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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