talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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