i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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