The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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