just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
