we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
