We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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