Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
