wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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