I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
